What do you do about THAT kind of neighbor?

Everybody has had that kind of neighbor at some point I am guessing, unless I am just incredibly lucky. They are nice enough, cordial anyway, to your face, and then devious and terrible behind your back. Well, this neighbor makes the gestapo tactics look friendly. When he wants to borrow something - bleach, tools, scaffolding, AK-47's, etc., he is as nice as can be, but wow, who would have known what lurked in his somewhat odd, conniving mind? A few months ago we were asked to possibly give a statement to police about a possible child abuse situation at his house, maybe that is where this all started, I am not sure. But we never did give the statement, we weren't contacted.

He reported us to the HOA for having "derelict vehicles" in our yard - my husband and son each have a Mopar "fixer upper" still waiting to be fixed up. They are, however, registered and operable, and are not in pieces parts, so according to the county regulations they are ok. We have several cars besides that, all operable and registered except one, and that is in the works.

Reporting us to the HOA wasn't, apparently, enough. He then reported us to the county, offered them access to his yard so they could take better pictures, and even took and E-mailed pictures to them himself. He attended the planning commission meeting and complained about us, and this is the real kicker ------ He told the county agent that we had RATS in and around our vehicles!!!! That's gotta be good for our property value - especially since it has become part of the public record.

You would think our yard looked like a dump, but that is not the case. We have over 2 acres and 20,000 sq. feet of lush, green lawn. We have a pasture and a barn, and 2 horses. Which brings me to my other complaint. He directed his son to come onto our property, in our pasture, and dig a trench so that the water from rainstorms in the rainy season would not drain down into his side yard - which was landscaped incorrectly so that it does get flooded every time it rains (not our fault). Anybody who has horses can appreciate the stupidity and danger of this action, having a trench in your pasture! Especially since our mare, Scarlett, was recovering from a $5000.00 surgery and hospital stay to fix a broken bone in her foot due to running over a T-post in the green belt.

All of this happened without a word of complaint from this "good" neighbor. OK, I have vented, and I have decided maybe we do have one rat in the neighborhood, but it isn't in our yard.